When I’m at my worst, I doubt everything. Who I am? What I’m good at? If I’m valuable or not? Am I good wife, friend, mentor? I can be pretty hard on myself and when I look in the mirror I don’t always see the image of Christ but the image of a thirty something woman who is flawed and failing. Sometimes I need the reminder that I’m favored, I’m beautiful and I’m valuable. When we know and believe these things our hearts shift and we have hope to jump into the future and be bold daughters of the most high.
A few Saturdays ago, Craig and I went to the botanical gardens on what was the most perfect sunny day. We’d planned it because I was writing a reading plan for The Sisterhood and wanted to see and be around flowers. I wanted to emerge myself in the beautiful of God’s creations especially knowing this study was coming up and to spend some time in a peaceful setting. I had prayed that I would feel the presence of God and hear exactly what He wanted to share through the scriptures that I'd be shearing with those who signed up for the plan. I was amazed to find so many different kinds of ‘Lily’s’…my name was literally everywhere!! Some different kinds of lilies made us both laugh, especially when we realized there was a plant called ‘Voodoo Lily’ (I know some of you may get a kick out of that one!). I couldn’t believe in this huge botanical garden my name was everywhere. I’d prayed for God to speak to me as we walked around the gardens and as I type this I know he was simply calling my name, over and over…'I am His and He is mine.' You see, no matter how ditsy you’ve been already this week, how insignificant you may feel or how much you think you’re just winging it everyday…He knows your name…He chooses YOU…and He calls you daughter.
God's word says; 'He chose you and loves you more than all creation.' He planted you to grow and will sustain you in whatever season you are going through. Yesterday, as many of your reached out for prayer and encouragement it blew my mind away.
I am your Father smiling over you!
You're growing in the grace of my Sonlight,
Nourished by my words that fall like rain.
My choirs of angels, bird, and saints
Join me in singing my love song over you;
We delight to dance with you in Spirit breezes.
When you smile and sing back to me! - Gaultiere
God continually shows His promise to me through creation. We all have days, weeks, seasons that rustle us up…days when everything feels broken. I have gone through a tremendous story of faith, I’m still going through it and one day who knows, maybe I’ll write a book about it haha…but God has opened my eyes in a fresh way. I expected too much...titles and positions, I thought I was entitled to so much. Who was I? I allowed people, situations and words to completely stop my day in track and I allowed anger to creep in and take control. I was angry at God… for putting me through such worry and stress…! (I’m not kidding…I was ridiculous!!).
BUT all the time God was working in me…to open my eyes fresh…to not worry about the little things and have more faith! My friend texted me the other week "FAITH UP!" - I love that! I’m not longer afraid, worried or setting my heart on things that I’ll eat or wear… but I'm allowing God to take all of me and to consider me His wildflower and get ready to grow.
My friends, now is the time to "faith up" and trust God to no longer feel inadequate, not pretty enough, not wealthy enough, not popular enough, not holy enough?!!!!! Or now is the time to allow God to really work in you and open your eyes to a fresh understanding of what really matters. Your story may be simple, but perhaps it is raw and I pray that something shifts so you can forget it all and allow God to take control!
"Do not worry about your life… Walk into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They don’t fuss with their appearance—but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?
My precious wildflower – smile!
I have clothed you in heaven’s splendor.
Though you’re lost to all in a field of blooms,
You’re seen by me and my sweet society.
Don’t worry about who sees your beauty
Or about how much time you have to bloom.
Be dead to the world and alive to me
For I planted you here and I know your name. - Gaultiere